


maybe it will all be worth it in the end

by Anonymous



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Ancom knows the truth, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Longing, Other, Violence, Yearning, but it's only briefly mentioned, but that's also briefly mentioned, oh yeah also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 23:55:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29126058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Ancom loves Commie, but doesn't know if that love will stay after the war against the centrists.
Relationships: Anarcho-Communism/Communism (Centricide)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 28
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

There were many things that Ancom wish was different.

Qui wished all people, regardless of race, gender, sexual preference, or religion, could all be viewed as equal and respect each other as equals. 

Qui wished the government didn’t excessively lie and abuse its power for its own sake. 

Qui wished that quis gender dysphoria could fuck right off so that qui would be comfortable with quis voice. Goddamn, why did it have to be so squeaky and high?

And well…

Qui wished to be loved. 

It wasn’t a new thing. Ancom had struggled with love for a long time. In the anarchist polycule, sure Ancom was cared for and accepted and as Post-Left, didn’t need to think too much about the life qui left behind, living in a multi-million dollar mansion that belonged to Ancap, and living with a fucking Nazi of all things.

But there was one person who couldn’t escape quis mind.

_ Commie.  _ **_Tankie._ **

Although Ancom rejected a lot of Commie’s beliefs, there were things the two shared. Hating the rightists, that’s for sure. And believing in a better world where corporations didn’t hold all the power and the people had freedom.

The two leftists shared a closer relationship than the four extremists shared. And despite plenty of rocky moments, the pair knew each other. From the way Ancom had a fucked sleeping schedule, to Commie liking his coffee with only two spoonfuls of sugar and nothing more. 

There were also the special, rare moments. The ones where the two found themselves awake late at night, not being able to sleep, and sitting together at the table in the quiet. Commie’s eyes would soften when Ancom talked about the things that mattered to quem, and Ancom felt quis heart beat a little faster when Commie smiled at quem.

But that’s just it, isn’t it?

Ancom knew the truth, as well as anyone else did. When the war against the centrists is won 一 and it’ll happen eventually一 that still leaves the four extremists, pitted against each other. Their alliance will be dropped, and that includes Ancom’s and Commie’s friendship. 

Getting attached is dangerous, and falling in love is even more dangerous.

It left a special kind of ache in Ancom’s heart. Because goddamn, was Commie frustrating as all fuck to deal with, but Ancom cared about him. Qui loved him, and qui couldn’t do anything about it, except pretend qui didn’t and shove back those shit feelings.

When the time came, and Ancom was no longer of use to Commie, the state would dictate that Commie kill Ancom. 

_ But would he actually do it? _

Ancom couldn’t be certain that Commie loved quem the same way. The communist was not always expressive to begin with, seemingly only showing his softer, more tender side to Ancom during moments when the two were alone.

_ But that could mean anything. He’s just as aware as Ancom is that nothing can change the blood that will be further spilled when the Centricide ends, and is perhaps using this small amount of time they have to at least pretend their friendship can continue after the war ends. _

Somehow, that thought only hurts Ancom more.

_ Fuck, Ancom really loves him. And it hurts. _

Ancom smiled to quemself sadly. Maybe Tankie will try to kill quem when this fight is over. Or maybe Tankie will spare Ancom. There was no real way of knowing.

And that’s why qui wants to appreciate this time with Commie while they still had it. Because when the time comes, Ancom wants to know if their friendship truly did matter to Commie.

_ Tankie.  _ **_Commie._ **


	2. it was worth it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted an extra chapter because why not. Anyways, this is set during post-Leftist Revolution, and from Commie's POV.

“Okay Tankie, you know I’m just playing. I love you” Ancom said.

_Anarkiddy was so beautiful to him. And yet, quis blood needed to be spilled in order for Commie’s final goal to be achieved._

With Ancom’s back turned, Commie cocked the gun he had hidden. The state ordered him to kill quem, and it was built into Commie’s very being to do this. There can be no strong communist society with the anarchists still roaming around, who rejected the state. Every word of Marx was ingrained into his memory like ink, and yet… and yet…

_... none of those words prepared him for this moment._

At the beginning of all this, before they had defeated the centrists, fascists, and capitalists, Commie would not have hesitated to kill Ancom. The fickle little anarchist, who was more set on freedom of the individual than the worker, and had too much love in quis heart, who cared so deeply about the people who had been beaten and put under a system of oppression for years.

_But then again, Commie didn’t_ **_know_ ** _quem then._

They had formed a closer bond over time, with the two sometimes finding themselves late at night, talking about so little but so much, too. Commie felt his heart soften just a little bit more when Ancom talked about things qui cared about. The anarchist’s green eyes would light up when speaking about former protests qui had been to. There was such a passion in Ancom’s heart for just… doing what qui believed was right, to love and help the people and fight for acceptance and justice for all. Commie found himself admiring that passion. It was needed in their world, that’s for sure.

But there were other moments, moments that Ancom wasn’t aware of.

Like the time when Ancom had left quis bandana on the kitchen table. Commie had found himself smiling, knowing he had given that bandana to Ancom. And when he snuck into Ancom’s room to return it, he felt warmth rise to his face when he saw Ancom’s sleeping self. Qui looked so...cute. Normally the anarchist had a fierceness to quem. Despite quis smaller stature, that was something qui would use to quis advantage when in a fight, easily dodging any punches that an enemy might try. But in the peace and quiet of Ancom’s room when qui was sleeping, qui was soft.

_Commie loved quem. And he couldn’t do anything about it except pretend he didn’t._

And that’s where the two were now. In the bright flower field, with the sun shining and a slight breeze coming in. 

“Yes, Ancom” Commie said, “just… keep looking at the flowers.”

_He didn’t want to, but he had to. All of his work would’ve been for nothing if he didn’t._

His hand was trembling with the gun. He was biting back tears. Why did such a simple task have to be so hard?

“...You brought me out here to kill me, didn’t you?” Ancom asked, tone unreadable. Commie’s eyes widened.

“Anarkiddy, I一”

“No, don’t give an excuse. Don’t say anything, asshole.” Ancom turned around, facing Commie and looking him dead in the eyes.

“I knew, all along, that something like this would happen. And yet I was unsure on whether you’d actually attempt to kill me. Because I wanted to know, I _had to know_ , if everything we had been through together was actually worth anything to you,” Ancom said, eyes filled not with anger, but sadness. Disappointment.

“Ancom, you have to understand. This is what I have to do. I can’t change any more than you can. After Stalin achieved communism, he killed anyone who rejected the state. That...that means you have to die, too.”

Ancom gave almost a ghost of a smile, stepping forward despite the gun still being pointed at quem, and raised quis hand to cup Commie’s cheek. Commie felt his breath hitch, heartbeat raising at the gentle touch.

“Is that honestly what you want though? There’s a difference between what the state wants and what you want, you know. You have to know that. I thought you were a little smarter than that, Tankie” Ancom said, voice warm and almost playful despite the sad smile that was on quis face.

_Ancom. **Anarkiddy**. His sweet little anarchist, whom he got too attached to. _

Commie felt the tears start to overflow. Throwing the gun to the side, he grabbed Ancom, pulling quem close to his chest in a tight embrace. 

_The thing was, he knew the truth. He knew it then and he knows it now. He knows this peace can’t last and that his fellow communists will wonder why he couldn’t do this simple task. That him and Ancom will most likely have other battles, disagreements. But for once, he wants to allow himself to love his anarchist, the way he had for a long time._

“I wasn’t lying, you know. I do love you Tankie, even in spite of what separates us. Because I know a part of you cares,” Ancom said softly. 

“я тоже тебя люблю, Anarkiddy” Commie said. He buried his face into quis hair and pressed a gentle kiss there.

Things weren’t okay right now, Commie knew that and he knew that Ancom knew that as well. There was still a lot of shit the two had to sort through, and their very natures would still clash. They would have to come up with a plan for how they wanted to run their new leftist world that didn’t interfere with either of their ideologies. 

But for now, the two allowed themselves to love each other, in the warmth of the flower field they had before them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY that's the end and I know this was rushed as heck but like HA EDITING IS OVERRATED  
> Anyways, please leave a comment

**Author's Note:**

> please comment, this is my first time writing for this fandom and I STRUGGLE with writing HELP


End file.
